Akhirnya..setelah fly berhari hari with minimum rest hours, saya cuti!!! Yeah yeah! I finally get my 5 days off. Kendian, akan buat recurrent class. 5 hari. So till my departure to pulau dewata, saya tidak akan menyarung uniform sehinggalah saya kembali ke base lagik bulan 6 karang. Ngeh ngeh ngeh. Riang hati ku badan bertuah...! Dulu masa arwah Sudirman nyanyi I think it was brilliant, now when I sing it, kenapa sound so bangkai eh>>?? Ooh sora hazab...
Monday, April 23, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Teringin
I am craving for :
1) nasik kerabu or the nasik dagang di Kampung Baru. Dont talk abt getting it in Dungung ye Pok Deng. Mak Piah jegil kang.
2) nasik beringin dan satay di MUOR, and and....air pear ( seryes, ada air pear ni sedap dan hanya didapati di Muor)
3) rendang Tok, nih tak kira la..janji rendang tok yang kering tu confirm sedap. Ni kalau ada sesapa niaga rendang tok...pls let me know. I wud like to buy a few kilos untuk bawak balik ke bumi Anbia.
4) Acar buah yang kenduri kawin tu, tak kiralah sapa kawin.
5) Nasik kandar Lawood. Ni salah Mak Itam, Mak Itam yang bawak gi makan kat sana. I mencik U Mak Itam.
6) Rojak Kucey, Kuching.
7) Char Kuay Tiaw. Taugeh extra!
8) Laksa Sarawak my Kak Lang buat. * but I think mine is better...ngeh ngeh ngeh, my favourite niece yang cakap....*
9) Kaki ayammmmmmmm...oh demmmm! Ni tak kira, nak dia sup ke, nak dia kari ke, kacangma ke, atau dimsum.
10) Sayur bayam oooh em jee! Kak Long selalu masakkan nih sebab nih jek mende yang senang dia nak buat. Selalu 3 ikat beli kat pasar, saya sorang yang belasah. Bad manners!
11) mee kosong dgn soup campur Kuching.
12) mee jawa...nih tak tau mana nak carik. I am talking about mee jawa versi sarawak. Yang dapat satay barang tiga emapt cucuk. Dulu when I was small, depan office ex-father nyer office, dekat pelabuhan in Miri town.
13) kuihhhhhhhhhh .If anyone of u know a good one. Do let me know, please.
a) my all-time favourite kuih cara berlauk. Ni dulu ada org buat kat rumah, kat Damansara. Tatau mana nak carik
b) kole kacang...kalau orang buat sedap, dia nyer taik minyak tu memang lah marbeles. Tapi nowadays, orang buat asal boleh jek. I have tried a few. Na-ah.
c) seri muka, dulu pernah buat. Jadik...dan sedap..lol. Lama dah..I totally forgot how. Plus mana nak cekau fresh santan sini? Nih kene pakai santan betul bukan satang pekek atau satang ting. Yang bahagian atas dia kalau molek jek..tak berapa sedap. Yang sedap tu yg sentuh jek kemek. Tu betul kalau sentuh jek kemek.
d) hehehe KUIH BAKOR..ohh kuih BAKOR.Kuih bako is horrific to my horrific thigh, but who is looking at my thighs anyway.
ok 13 items dulu, for now. I will go to the pathetic restaurant in the compound.
1) nasik kerabu or the nasik dagang di Kampung Baru. Dont talk abt getting it in Dungung ye Pok Deng. Mak Piah jegil kang.
2) nasik beringin dan satay di MUOR, and and....air pear ( seryes, ada air pear ni sedap dan hanya didapati di Muor)
3) rendang Tok, nih tak kira la..janji rendang tok yang kering tu confirm sedap. Ni kalau ada sesapa niaga rendang tok...pls let me know. I wud like to buy a few kilos untuk bawak balik ke bumi Anbia.
4) Acar buah yang kenduri kawin tu, tak kiralah sapa kawin.
5) Nasik kandar Lawood. Ni salah Mak Itam, Mak Itam yang bawak gi makan kat sana. I mencik U Mak Itam.
6) Rojak Kucey, Kuching.
7) Char Kuay Tiaw. Taugeh extra!
8) Laksa Sarawak my Kak Lang buat. * but I think mine is better...ngeh ngeh ngeh, my favourite niece yang cakap....*
9) Kaki ayammmmmmmm...oh demmmm! Ni tak kira, nak dia sup ke, nak dia kari ke, kacangma ke, atau dimsum.
10) Sayur bayam oooh em jee! Kak Long selalu masakkan nih sebab nih jek mende yang senang dia nak buat. Selalu 3 ikat beli kat pasar, saya sorang yang belasah. Bad manners!
11) mee kosong dgn soup campur Kuching.
12) mee jawa...nih tak tau mana nak carik. I am talking about mee jawa versi sarawak. Yang dapat satay barang tiga emapt cucuk. Dulu when I was small, depan office ex-father nyer office, dekat pelabuhan in Miri town.
13) kuihhhhhhhhhh .If anyone of u know a good one. Do let me know, please.
a) my all-time favourite kuih cara berlauk. Ni dulu ada org buat kat rumah, kat Damansara. Tatau mana nak carik
b) kole kacang...kalau orang buat sedap, dia nyer taik minyak tu memang lah marbeles. Tapi nowadays, orang buat asal boleh jek. I have tried a few. Na-ah.
c) seri muka, dulu pernah buat. Jadik...dan sedap..lol. Lama dah..I totally forgot how. Plus mana nak cekau fresh santan sini? Nih kene pakai santan betul bukan satang pekek atau satang ting. Yang bahagian atas dia kalau molek jek..tak berapa sedap. Yang sedap tu yg sentuh jek kemek. Tu betul kalau sentuh jek kemek.
d) hehehe KUIH BAKOR..ohh kuih BAKOR.Kuih bako is horrific to my horrific thigh, but who is looking at my thighs anyway.
ok 13 items dulu, for now. I will go to the pathetic restaurant in the compound.
Baca ok?
Sebab fungsi utama saya di atas kapal is to take care of passengers, here let me share this with u guys.
Who knows, it might help u or people around u. God forbid u have to deal with it, but if u, u at least have some idea on how to react.
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. (they offered to call ambulance)
They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.)
She had suffered a stroke at the party . Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today.
Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this...
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster.
The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions :
S * Ask the individual to SMILE ..
T * = TALK. Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg 'It is sunny out today').
R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS .
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call the ambulance and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
NOTE : Another 'sign' of a stroke is
1. Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue.
2. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke.
Who knows, it might help u or people around u. God forbid u have to deal with it, but if u, u at least have some idea on how to react.
STROKE: Remember the first 3 letters : STR
During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. (they offered to call ambulance)
They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.)
She had suffered a stroke at the party . Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today.
Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this...
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster.
The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions :
S * Ask the individual to SMILE ..
T * = TALK. Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg 'It is sunny out today').
R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS .
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call the ambulance and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
NOTE : Another 'sign' of a stroke is
1. Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue.
2. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke.
Vontots
Dia naik dengan nenek dia yang partially blind. Saya tukarkan seat dia orang near my station. Sebab nenek dia. Kesian nenek dia jauh nak menapak kalau dia nak gi toilet ke nak minum ke.. I briefed nenek dia berapa seats untuk sampai ke exit in case of emergency and all that nonsense la.
I told the nenek nak pani, panggil jek, sebab saya dekat. Hehehehe tak berenti dia nak mempani ye...lol. Tak pe, nenek dah tua. Saya ikutlan kehendak nenek. lagipun cuma pani jek. Saya bisik kat nenek, nenek, jangan jerit jerit...panggil sahaja. SAYA DEKAT!!! Kalau nenek jerit jerit nanti saya panik dengar nenek menjerit. Nenek geleng geleng, sangat trademark dari benua itu.
Ehhh...saya beri perhatian kat nenek, si BUTT nih leh lenaaaaaaaaaaaa sepanjang flight. Gerammmm jek nengok. Chaitttt! Butthurt eh?
p.s : I dont like this new blog system ...tak reti la...* geleng geleng*
mende ni?
errr...clicked dekat nu pe nama dia dashboard for blogger. Apa nih?? Macam mana nak guna nih? Adesh!
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
My Mak Men
Dia kakak emak saya.
Dia sangat cantik.
Dalam beradik emak, dialah yang paling cantek.
Her beauty was a legend.
She married her first husband when she was very young. He was so possessive and eventually become abusive. Mentally, that is. She already had her first child, my cousin brother, when she decided to walk away from that marriage.
Zaman dulu dulu, di Sarawak kalau nak mintak cerai haruslah pergi berjumpa Tuan Residen or was it Tuan DO, I dont remember. Masa dia mintak cerai tu, first husband dia cakap tak nak bagi anak. She bravely said the ex husband can keep the child. Tergamam semua orang masa tu. Takde sapa sangka dia seberani itu dan se-determine itu untuk divorce dengan laki nya. Bear in mind, that was in the 50's. Tuan Residen/Tuan DO tu yang orang putih tu sendiri terkujat! Disebabkan saya adalah anak sedara dia yang kepoci sangat, I did asked her, what made her did that, dia cakap, he is my son. He will understand, And he will find me when the time comes. And true enough, my cousin brother did look his mother up. :-)
Seminggu lepas her divorced was final, Tuan Residen/Tuan DO came and asked for her hand! He was very impressed of how this kampung girl, stood up for herself. She agreed to marry him. From this second mariage, she got a daughter. My very pretty cousin. She is more a sister than a cousin to me. Some rather how, bila masa orang putih di Sarawak kene hand over to the locals, the marriage was cut short sebab my late grandma tak bagi dia ikut laki dia balik ke negara asal. Orang dulu dulu....*sigh* Takut makcik saay nih diseksa atau kene jual jadik hamba ke apa ke di tanah asing.
Being a good daughter, dia ikutkan kehendak my grandma. Took her a long time before she remarried. She was introduced to the third husband by my Kher. Kher yang kenalkan. From third husband, I got another four cousins. The third husband worship the gound that she walks on. Sweet, kan???
Kata emak, saya mewarisi banyak perangai nonsense saya dari dia. We have the same way of doing things. Emak kata, saya nih semua mende nak berprocedure...sebijik perangai kakak dia. Dan banyak perangai aneh aneh saya adalah sama dengan perangai dia. I used to hate it when mother says that. Then after sometimes, I realized, ada betulnya. Banyak actually perangai dia dengan saya yang sama. Terutama bab meroyan tak tentu pasal. Sayangnya, I dont have her legendary beauty. Isssskkk...hat nonsense dapat, hat lawa dia tak dek. Uwerks!
Today, balik dari flight, I read on newsfeed FB of her passing. I became numb. My niece left a message on my YM cakap ' nenek dah tak leh nak diselamatkan lagi'. Sesaknya nafas saya. I just spoke to her 3 days ago :(( on skype. Dia cakap, kesiannya aku tengok kau nih, duduk jauh jauh dari keluarga nak carik makan.
Dear Mak Men,
anakanda doakan Mak Men tenang di sana. Cukuplah derita Mak Men yang berulang alik buat dialisis kat sepital tu semua. Anakanda sedih sebab anakanda tak dapat balik untuk menghantar Mak Men ke persemadian.
Maafkan anakanda.
Dia sangat cantik.
Dalam beradik emak, dialah yang paling cantek.
Her beauty was a legend.
She married her first husband when she was very young. He was so possessive and eventually become abusive. Mentally, that is. She already had her first child, my cousin brother, when she decided to walk away from that marriage.
Zaman dulu dulu, di Sarawak kalau nak mintak cerai haruslah pergi berjumpa Tuan Residen or was it Tuan DO, I dont remember. Masa dia mintak cerai tu, first husband dia cakap tak nak bagi anak. She bravely said the ex husband can keep the child. Tergamam semua orang masa tu. Takde sapa sangka dia seberani itu dan se-determine itu untuk divorce dengan laki nya. Bear in mind, that was in the 50's. Tuan Residen/Tuan DO tu yang orang putih tu sendiri terkujat! Disebabkan saya adalah anak sedara dia yang kepoci sangat, I did asked her, what made her did that, dia cakap, he is my son. He will understand, And he will find me when the time comes. And true enough, my cousin brother did look his mother up. :-)
Seminggu lepas her divorced was final, Tuan Residen/Tuan DO came and asked for her hand! He was very impressed of how this kampung girl, stood up for herself. She agreed to marry him. From this second mariage, she got a daughter. My very pretty cousin. She is more a sister than a cousin to me. Some rather how, bila masa orang putih di Sarawak kene hand over to the locals, the marriage was cut short sebab my late grandma tak bagi dia ikut laki dia balik ke negara asal. Orang dulu dulu....*sigh* Takut makcik saay nih diseksa atau kene jual jadik hamba ke apa ke di tanah asing.
Being a good daughter, dia ikutkan kehendak my grandma. Took her a long time before she remarried. She was introduced to the third husband by my Kher. Kher yang kenalkan. From third husband, I got another four cousins. The third husband worship the gound that she walks on. Sweet, kan???
Kata emak, saya mewarisi banyak perangai nonsense saya dari dia. We have the same way of doing things. Emak kata, saya nih semua mende nak berprocedure...sebijik perangai kakak dia. Dan banyak perangai aneh aneh saya adalah sama dengan perangai dia. I used to hate it when mother says that. Then after sometimes, I realized, ada betulnya. Banyak actually perangai dia dengan saya yang sama. Terutama bab meroyan tak tentu pasal. Sayangnya, I dont have her legendary beauty. Isssskkk...hat nonsense dapat, hat lawa dia tak dek. Uwerks!
Today, balik dari flight, I read on newsfeed FB of her passing. I became numb. My niece left a message on my YM cakap ' nenek dah tak leh nak diselamatkan lagi'. Sesaknya nafas saya. I just spoke to her 3 days ago :(( on skype. Dia cakap, kesiannya aku tengok kau nih, duduk jauh jauh dari keluarga nak carik makan.
Dear Mak Men,
anakanda doakan Mak Men tenang di sana. Cukuplah derita Mak Men yang berulang alik buat dialisis kat sepital tu semua. Anakanda sedih sebab anakanda tak dapat balik untuk menghantar Mak Men ke persemadian.
Maafkan anakanda.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Paku buah keras
Selamat pagi dunia.....heheheheh. mangkit nih takdak pikiaq soal matikk dah. LOL. What a psycho-bitch I am!
Nih nak tanya..angpa ada dak orang disekeliling angpa yang mana 'apa pun ang buat/ ang cakap, I am RIGHT?'
I have one. I will call her, KakNamTequila. U can make out dr negara mana dia datang lah.
Takdir menentukan I got KakNam as my new villamate. Sistem perumahan di sini agak kacau. Grrrrr* Takde dah dak Imelda Marcos dan rakan rakan sekabayannya duduk dengan saya.
Sedikit masa lalu, I was a bit down. And so happened, KakNam Tequila berjaya membuat saya bercakap tentang what I was going thru. HAikkk...ingatkan dia nak dengar saya melampiaskan derita, eeehhhh...dia amik kesempatan lak nak menunjuk terer, yang dia hebat. Demmmmmmmm! Elok saya down sikit jek...dia telah berjaya menjerumuskan saya ke ruang yang lebih dalam...she made me feel I wasnt good enough for what I wanted. I was like...apa nih???? Janganlah tambah derita di dalam diri saya.
I made a mental note to self, untuk tak buat macam tu pada orang lain. Anyway, I got over it and take it as rezeki itu sudah tertulis.
Semalam, I had dinner outside the compound dengan kawan lama yang datang dari Dammam. Dah lewat la saya sampai rumah. Kul satu pagi macamtu, I found KakNamTequila dengan muka menderita dekat living hall. Saya tak sampai hati pulak nengok dia macam down. So I sat for a while, bertanya khabar. I was not sleepy anyway. **balik jumpa jantan memanglah tak sleepy,kan. Kah kah kah!**
Now she is going thru exactly what I went thru when she menunjuk terer to me a while back. Seryes, saya simpati. I know how it feels to want something u think u deserved. So I listened for a while. Takpe lah..tu hari dia buat saya rasa tambah sedih, I dont have to do the same. Dok ingat nih dalam kepala, biarlah orang buat kita, janji kita tak buat orang. I just listened to what she wanted to say. Ermmmm...ermmm dan err..yes..yes...angguk sikit sikit. * feeling saya seorang yang memahamilah sampailahhhhhhhhhhh....dia menunjuk terer lagik. I was like...hahhhhhhh?? U gotta be kidding me!!! I got fed-up and bagi pulangkan paku buah keras aaaa...light light jek. I said, 'what ever I say, you are always right.!' Tak tahan lah wey. Dia jek yang terer, dia jek best.
I said my good night and went to my room. Duduk kau situ sulking the whole night!!!
Saya kesian jugak, tapi orang putih nih memang tak leh layan sangat. Kang semalaman saya tak tidur mendengar cerita kehebatan dia.
Nih nak tanya..angpa ada dak orang disekeliling angpa yang mana 'apa pun ang buat/ ang cakap, I am RIGHT?'
I have one. I will call her, KakNamTequila. U can make out dr negara mana dia datang lah.
Takdir menentukan I got KakNam as my new villamate. Sistem perumahan di sini agak kacau. Grrrrr* Takde dah dak Imelda Marcos dan rakan rakan sekabayannya duduk dengan saya.
Sedikit masa lalu, I was a bit down. And so happened, KakNam Tequila berjaya membuat saya bercakap tentang what I was going thru. HAikkk...ingatkan dia nak dengar saya melampiaskan derita, eeehhhh...dia amik kesempatan lak nak menunjuk terer, yang dia hebat. Demmmmmmmm! Elok saya down sikit jek...dia telah berjaya menjerumuskan saya ke ruang yang lebih dalam...she made me feel I wasnt good enough for what I wanted. I was like...apa nih???? Janganlah tambah derita di dalam diri saya.
I made a mental note to self, untuk tak buat macam tu pada orang lain. Anyway, I got over it and take it as rezeki itu sudah tertulis.
Semalam, I had dinner outside the compound dengan kawan lama yang datang dari Dammam. Dah lewat la saya sampai rumah. Kul satu pagi macamtu, I found KakNamTequila dengan muka menderita dekat living hall. Saya tak sampai hati pulak nengok dia macam down. So I sat for a while, bertanya khabar. I was not sleepy anyway. **balik jumpa jantan memanglah tak sleepy,kan. Kah kah kah!**
Now she is going thru exactly what I went thru when she menunjuk terer to me a while back. Seryes, saya simpati. I know how it feels to want something u think u deserved. So I listened for a while. Takpe lah..tu hari dia buat saya rasa tambah sedih, I dont have to do the same. Dok ingat nih dalam kepala, biarlah orang buat kita, janji kita tak buat orang. I just listened to what she wanted to say. Ermmmm...ermmm dan err..yes..yes...angguk sikit sikit. * feeling saya seorang yang memahamilah sampailahhhhhhhhhhh....dia menunjuk terer lagik. I was like...hahhhhhhh?? U gotta be kidding me!!! I got fed-up and bagi pulangkan paku buah keras aaaa...light light jek. I said, 'what ever I say, you are always right.!' Tak tahan lah wey. Dia jek yang terer, dia jek best.
I said my good night and went to my room. Duduk kau situ sulking the whole night!!!
Saya kesian jugak, tapi orang putih nih memang tak leh layan sangat. Kang semalaman saya tak tidur mendengar cerita kehebatan dia.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Sesekali.
Balik awal pagi tadik dari Tehran.
Ada 13 wheelchair. Passengers yang dah tak larat nak jalan and going for umrah.
Terdetik dalam hati when I look at this people, esok aku dah tua macam nih la.
What will happened when I am old and withered.
I have no one but myself.
Who will take care of me. Tak de anak, tak de laki.
What should I do when I am old and have no more value to this world?
Sapa nak jaga grumpy old women who once thought she has everything in this world to look forward to?
Ap yang akan aku tinggalkan untuk dunia nih?
Nothing.
Maybe my kids as in my nieces/nephew will think of me lovingly as I have colored their lives, giving advices when they go thru all kinds of situation yang dirasakan dunia akan berakhir or help to buy printers for their assignments?
Jika ada umur, semua akan merasa tua. Just I dont want to jadik org tua yang menyusahkan orang lain. When the time come, maybe I will resolve to do what need to be done. I will go quietly. Once in a while..when I go thru websites of people who died commit suicide. NO...it is not because of my recent turmoil, no I am not thinking of doing it now. When I am old and useless.
Itu pun kalau ajal tak menjemput sebelumnya. I want to die before I become a burden to anyone. I am not afraid of getting old, dont get me wrong. the part yang tak berguna lagik tu yang tak sanggup.
I spoke of it to one of my confidant. Dia kata I am ridiculous. And told me stuff from religion point of view. I understand. Dia kata tanah tak terima orang yg take their own life. I am just wondering, what if u have no more purpose in life>? God would understand my reason. Nak hidup segan, mati ?
The afterlife tu yang tak abis pikir. I am just afraid I wont see my father, my favourite uncle and my grandma. Tu jek.
Kher, Pak and neney, I miss u guys.
Ada 13 wheelchair. Passengers yang dah tak larat nak jalan and going for umrah.
Terdetik dalam hati when I look at this people, esok aku dah tua macam nih la.
What will happened when I am old and withered.
I have no one but myself.
Who will take care of me. Tak de anak, tak de laki.
What should I do when I am old and have no more value to this world?
Sapa nak jaga grumpy old women who once thought she has everything in this world to look forward to?
Ap yang akan aku tinggalkan untuk dunia nih?
Nothing.
Maybe my kids as in my nieces/nephew will think of me lovingly as I have colored their lives, giving advices when they go thru all kinds of situation yang dirasakan dunia akan berakhir or help to buy printers for their assignments?
Jika ada umur, semua akan merasa tua. Just I dont want to jadik org tua yang menyusahkan orang lain. When the time come, maybe I will resolve to do what need to be done. I will go quietly. Once in a while..when I go thru websites of people who died commit suicide. NO...it is not because of my recent turmoil, no I am not thinking of doing it now. When I am old and useless.
Itu pun kalau ajal tak menjemput sebelumnya. I want to die before I become a burden to anyone. I am not afraid of getting old, dont get me wrong. the part yang tak berguna lagik tu yang tak sanggup.
I spoke of it to one of my confidant. Dia kata I am ridiculous. And told me stuff from religion point of view. I understand. Dia kata tanah tak terima orang yg take their own life. I am just wondering, what if u have no more purpose in life>? God would understand my reason. Nak hidup segan, mati ?
The afterlife tu yang tak abis pikir. I am just afraid I wont see my father, my favourite uncle and my grandma. Tu jek.
Kher, Pak and neney, I miss u guys.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Plan
Tickets for my rendezvous dah ada di tangan.
Rasa cam ong kaya lak...patah hati jek gi bercuti menenangkan fikiran, best kan?
Dulu broke up dengan PJ, I went to Paris.
Alasan semata itu semua.
I am going for a getaway soon with Panjang.
Ni tengah busy carik hotel accommodations lak. Suh Panjang buatkan.
It's a foreign land where I have never step my foot on. Panjang pun first time.
Macam cuak cuak nak pergi, but I want to do this.
Semuga pantai pantai nan indah itu tidak terganggu dek Tsunami.
If it does, then pray for my sorry soul.
Btw, teket MAS sangatlah mahal, but that is the only route yang Panjang can join me from Jakarta.
Rasa cam ong kaya lak...patah hati jek gi bercuti menenangkan fikiran, best kan?
Dulu broke up dengan PJ, I went to Paris.
Alasan semata itu semua.
I am going for a getaway soon with Panjang.
Ni tengah busy carik hotel accommodations lak. Suh Panjang buatkan.
It's a foreign land where I have never step my foot on. Panjang pun first time.
Macam cuak cuak nak pergi, but I want to do this.
Semuga pantai pantai nan indah itu tidak terganggu dek Tsunami.
If it does, then pray for my sorry soul.
Btw, teket MAS sangatlah mahal, but that is the only route yang Panjang can join me from Jakarta.
Monday, April 2, 2012
burn baby burn
IN a perfect world, when he's with her, he would be wishing he was with me; when he looked at her, he would be looking at me; when he smile at her, his smile would be for me; when he thought about someone, he would be thinking about me. IN a perfect world, he would realize that she wasnt the one he was supposed to be with and I would be standing here waiting for him still when he knows this. But it isnt a perfect world and people do get hurt, you smile when you feel like crying, you go for your flights, you act like you're ok when you're falling inside and you HAD to let it go. You move on, because there's nothing else you can do.
The love that last the longest is the love that can never be.
MAY THE BRIDGES I BURN LIGHT THE WAY.
~MP March 2012~
sakit, bodoh!!!
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