Thursday, August 5, 2010

My hair is grey

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 7 AM and sleep until noon or the next morning or day? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of Lady Gaga, Beyonce..and wiggle too. And if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ..... I will.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one to a bitch/slut, or when a child suffers, but broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray I don't colour it, well up to now, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.

U shud, too.

1 comment:

  1. Entry lama tapi iols baru baca, tetaplah nak mengomen. Bagus entry ni sebab tetiba aura positif masuk--mcm kena rasuk, bergoncang badan! Haks..


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