My Mak Men

Dia kakak emak saya.
Dia sangat cantik.
Dalam beradik emak, dialah yang paling cantek.
Her beauty was a legend.

She married her first husband when she was very young. He was so possessive and eventually become abusive. Mentally, that is. She already had her first child, my cousin brother, when she decided to walk away from that marriage.

Zaman dulu dulu, di Sarawak kalau nak mintak cerai haruslah pergi berjumpa Tuan Residen or was it Tuan DO, I dont remember. Masa dia mintak cerai tu, first husband dia cakap tak nak bagi anak. She bravely said the ex husband can keep the child. Tergamam semua orang masa tu. Takde sapa sangka dia seberani itu dan se-determine itu untuk divorce dengan laki nya. Bear in mind, that was in the 50's. Tuan Residen/Tuan DO tu yang orang putih tu sendiri terkujat! Disebabkan saya adalah anak sedara dia yang kepoci sangat, I did asked her, what made her did that, dia cakap, he is my son. He will understand, And he will find me when the time comes. And true enough, my cousin brother did look his mother up. :-)

Seminggu lepas her divorced was final, Tuan Residen/Tuan DO came and asked for her hand! He was very impressed of how this kampung girl, stood up for herself. She agreed to marry him. From this second mariage, she got a daughter. My very pretty cousin. She is more a sister than a cousin to me. Some rather how, bila masa orang putih di Sarawak kene hand over to the locals, the marriage was cut short sebab my late grandma tak bagi dia ikut laki dia balik ke negara asal. Orang dulu dulu....*sigh* Takut makcik saay nih diseksa atau kene jual jadik hamba ke apa ke di tanah asing.

Being a good daughter, dia ikutkan kehendak my grandma. Took her a long time before she remarried. She was introduced to the third husband by my Kher. Kher yang kenalkan. From third husband, I got another four cousins. The third husband worship the gound that she walks on. Sweet, kan???

Kata emak, saya mewarisi banyak perangai nonsense saya dari dia. We have the same way of doing things. Emak kata, saya nih semua mende nak berprocedure...sebijik perangai kakak dia. Dan banyak perangai aneh aneh saya adalah sama dengan perangai dia. I used to hate it when mother says that. Then after sometimes, I realized, ada betulnya. Banyak actually perangai dia dengan saya yang sama. Terutama bab meroyan tak tentu pasal. Sayangnya, I dont have her legendary beauty. Isssskkk...hat nonsense dapat, hat lawa dia tak dek. Uwerks!

Today, balik dari flight, I read on newsfeed FB of her passing. I became numb. My niece left a message on my YM cakap ' nenek dah tak leh nak diselamatkan lagi'. Sesaknya nafas saya. I just spoke to her 3 days ago :(( on skype. Dia cakap, kesiannya aku tengok kau nih, duduk jauh jauh dari keluarga nak carik makan.

Dear Mak Men,
anakanda doakan Mak Men tenang di sana. Cukuplah derita Mak Men yang berulang alik buat dialisis kat sepital tu semua. Anakanda sedih sebab anakanda tak dapat balik untuk menghantar Mak Men ke persemadian.
Maafkan anakanda.